Musing about Happiness

I've lived in Karlsruhe, Germany now for 9 years. That's only two years shy of being a third of my life! So granted I've had a lot of time to adjust. I've learned the language. I've integrated. I feel more at home here sometimes than I do when I go 'home' to America.

But during the last year I've been confronted with people who actively hate living here. They hate the language, they hate what they perceive as the rudeness of the people, they hate the weather, they hate the opening times of the shops. Actually they hate everything that isn't exactly the same as wherever they came from. As if it is an afront to themselves that how dare Germany be different. They don't enjoy the differences and the quirks but rather resent them.

And yes, I've done my fair share of whining about crotchety old ladies giving me parenting advice, or the stores being closed when I really need to buy something. But crotchety old ladies are the same everywhere. We are just more likely to write off their eccentricity when it's our own culture. Whereas in a different culture they come to represent the population. And the store times are posted. It's my fault if I don't take note and plan ahead.

It baffles me how a 'place' can make people so dissatisfied with their lives and so unhappy. It's just buildings, culture, and weather. However, I've come to the conclusion that they are not unhappy with the 'place' but the circumstances of their lives. And unfortunately the circumstances of one's life are things that don't change with geography. The circumstances of one's life are things that come from within in my opinion. If you are happy with your life and yourself, you can be happy almost anywhere.

Maybe the question is what makes people happy. Internal things or external things. For me the question of happiness is answered internally and not externally. Is this because I am an introvert and not an extrovert? I am happy with myself so I am happy? Do extroverts have more trouble being happy if they are unhappy with their surroundings? I try to understand but I have trouble thinking that the grass will be greener when these people move elsewhere. I hope they will but I don't think so.